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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

All Things Potty

     There is a straw that will break the camels back.  That proverbial straw in my case is the public toilet.  I never thought public restrooms would become such an important part of my life.  It seems I barely gave them a second thought until about my 7th month of pregnancy.  This, I think, may be actually my third post about restrooms, I suppose I might be obsessed.  Maybe, obsessed is too strong of a word....I'll leave that up to you.

     Lets go back to the beginning.  When I was huge with baby,  I became very aware of where the closest toilet was in all of my surroundings.  I could tell you without a doubt in which store you may find cleanliness and comfort.  My favorites were the ones where the walls in each stall reached to the ceiling like an impenetrable fortress. One where there was mood lighting and catchy music in which to sing along on a whim.  Later, my next favorites where the ones with the little sinks and changing tables in the big stalls.  I could drive my giant stroller into the spacious room of refuge and take care of my wailing, poopy baby in peace.

     Enough of the "nice" bathrooms, as they were far and few between.  One of my most fond memories was having to nurse my then infant daughter on the floor of the Kmart as she wailed and I clumsily tried to balance her on my knee as I leaned on the toilet, only to then resort to sitting on the floor as far away from the commode as possible.  It wasn't like now where you could pretty much whip out your "unmentionable" in public to feed your baby while people try not to stare.   I'll  never forget the store associate at my nearest department store telling me "You cant do that in here" as I tried to take care of my new son in their cafe.  I did report her but it didn't alter the world or anything.  Flash forward, potty training.  There's nothing quite like your toddler touching the toilet seat then grabbing at your face as you try to help them with their clothes, especially in the summer.

     Potty training is now behind us as we now have 3 graduated conductors of the potty train.  Now, the biggest challenge is the strong, exhortation to put paper on the seats, because they're full of germs and PLEASE, PLEASE  for the love of all that is holy...don't forget to wash your hands !!   You know the paper toilet protector is pretty much worthless in my opinion since it takes about 2 minutes to actually situate them on the seat.   Then, people like to "hover" .....well, great!  "hover" till your hearts content, but can you at least wipe up your sprinkles?!   Oh no.....by all means...make sure you leave them there so I can plop my giant heiny on them....TMI ?  yeah, probably....but wouldn't the world be a nicer place if everyone just sat their caboose down on the seat?.....well, maybe not....   I could go on forever...about the 1 ply toilet paper, the nasty wet sinks.....I will spare you......til next time ;)



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