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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tick, Tock, Tick ......

  I went and tried one of those self serve dog washes with the kids.  Let me rephrase...I didn't actually wash the kids there, just the dog.  Ive been wanting to try this for awhile but was always deterred because of the distance.   I'm a country girl so its pretty much a 20 minute drive one way to town.  Anywho, I promised my daughter that we would take the dog for a car ride on his birthday.   This grand occasion was actually 3 weeks ago but its been kinda hot so I was procrastinating.  An old dog and 3 small children doesn't always work well on a 85 degree day.  Yesterday was nice and cool, so we seized the day.

  We pulled up to the car wash and I survey the dog wash, I say, "ok you guys, this costs $7 for 10 minutes so we need to hurry.  They were great helpers, we got the old guy up the ramp onto the "sink" and began to scrub.  So as I'm scrubbin along, I feel a hard roundish bump hanging off the dog.  I got squeamish knowing this could only be one thing...A Tick!  This is nothing new in the country but for some reason, this season we particularly have our fill.  Up until about 8 years ago I was a city girl so I wasn't all that familiar with bugs the size of small kittens and such.  Of course, I'm exaggerating, but they can be intimidating.  Back to the tick,  I deal with him in the only way ticks should be treated, I will spare the gory details.  The timer on the dog wash was was counting down,  we were racing against the clock or we would be going home with a soapy dog as I didn't have many more singles in my purse.  Whew, we got done in the nick of time.  On the way home we stopped and got a chicken sandwich off the dollar menu for our brave subject.  Well, the kids had a new experience and the dog got the stink washed off him so I guess in all, it was a win-win situation.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Welcome to Your Local Germ Fest....Part Deux

  Hey all!  I felt compelled to add a second thought to my original post about public restrooms.  Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the toilet....(insert Jaws music here).  Today we will be chatting about the splendor of the port a potty.  Let me back up a bit, as if I wasn't busy enough, I decided that signing the kids up for sports would be a great idea.  We made it through Karate and moved onto T-ball.  T-ball enables me to visit the port a potty at least twice a week with my young child who is intrigued by the toilet in a box.  I should be grateful, at least there is hand sanitizer in there.  Unlike the wood boxes of yesteryear, we now have the luxury of toilet paper and don't have to resort to crumpled napkins on the floor of the car.  If you weren't fortunate enough to scrounge up a napkin or two, you may have to resort to some type of leaf or the "drip- dry" method.

   My young child must be accompanied to this glorious box in order to somehow be levitated over this hole of muck by yours truly.  Once again, I implore her..."Don't touch anything...please....and don't touch my face".  Helping her with her clothes is an added treat since I get to bend over and somehow have my clothes brush the makeshift urinal ever so gently.  I  utter out a few groans of disgust as I say,  "didn't we use the potty at home?  why are we in here again?"  The only explanation I get out of this wonderful child is .."I had to go.."    I guess for now,  the potty trenches it is....

Friday, June 3, 2011

Has Anyone Seen the Crazy Cream?

  The change.....what exactly does that mean?  Well, if your entering midlife, you might have some idea of where this might be going.  I guess the word "change" can produce optimistic feelings or possibly a wave of negative emotions.  We might experience a lop sided mixture of the two and we may scramble to find that delicate, elusive balance.  A dear friend of mine let me in on a little secret...she called it "natural progesterone".  I had a surge of hope...could I find that balance I was in search of?  I took a little trip to my health food store..where was it?!  As if the heavens opened, a ray of gleaming light shown down,  there on the women's health shelf was the answer to all that was amiss.

  I got home and opened my bag of gold.  On the container it said, " Massage 1/4 to 1/2 tsp of cream into inner arms, thighs, blah..blah..blah".  On it went, "Yay!  the solution to all my ups and downs,  happiness and calm in a bottle!"  I did notice a difference, a slight improvement, better than nothing.  Big Daddy lovingly refers to my new found treasure as "crazy cream".   He will enter my perimeter and survey my aura..."did you put on the crazy cream?..slap it on, eat it or do what ever ya got do...."    Hmmm......I wonder what he's trying to tell me...Ahhh yes....these stages of life.   No wonder why the  "Good  Book"  offers up the encouragement...."Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a women who fears the Lord will be praised."   So, as I beat back my impending mustache and growing feet, I will try to keep that wonderful verse in the forefront of my mind.