wanna be happy?...lower your standards!

STANDARDS...such a lofty word..presses us onto greatness.  Raise the bar on excellence, set your standards high!  High enough so that you're a miserable mess trying to attain excellence.....hmmm...  How many of us live at that place in life?  Oh my gosh,   house cant ever be a mess,  kids gotta be primped and preened,  meals hafta be perfect, mans gotta be freshly loved( wink, wink).  Good Lord, can we give ourselves a break already?!  What kinda fairy tale existence is the above described scenario?  Is there anyone who can do it all and not need a Tylenol drip at the end of the day?  Not only are we hard on ourselves, we are hard on each other.  Snarky comments made behind the backs of people,  about their homes, their kids, their whatevers....My thought?  Lets lower the bar, lets let go of the vanity, lets have love and support for our fellow girl  and lets love ourselves a little more.  You cant fold clothes today? Who cares?  You cant clear up the counter today? so what?  you wanna dance to the beat farmers with your kid instead of wash the dishes? do it!  you wanna lay on the floor and pet your 11.5 year old dog? do it! cuz you're not gonna be able to when he's gone.  What?  afternoon delight  with messy hair and bad breath?  go for it! That man ain't looking for a playboy model, he wants you!!  Not one single person has it together, but if we can just get real with each other and ourselves, I believe that would be a great place to start!

Of Dry Shaves and Traveling Laundry Piles...

I love Christmas.  What's not to love?  The twinkling lights, the holiday movies (over and over and over again) etc.  Everything is spectacular and pretty.  I liken Christmas to a great meal.  Preparation leading up to a fabulous meal is time consuming yet exciting.  Finally, we serve up this feast or in this case Christmas joy.  We wait for that look...the twinkle in the eye.  You know somehow by that look, you have raised the bar on Christmas (or on meal prep) once again.  Okay...that is all an exaggeration, but I think you get my point.  Here's my issue with Christmas...December 26.  "But that's the day after Christmas..."you say.  Exactly right!  What does this all have to do with dry shaves and laundry piles you ask?   I'm getting to that.  Just like a great meal ends, so does a great event. What you are left with is mess....you know what I'm talking about...dirty plates, pine needles, wrapping paper and the like.  Little pieces that kids leave on the floor inviting you to step on in an oblivious stupor.  This scenario tends to zap my mental motivation, somehow in the recesses of my mind, a sign flashes....you will never get this cleaned up, the counters are filled with hardening Christmas cookies and questionable pies.  I switch gears and get into survival mode...I lower my standards and shoot for keeping the dishes clean, vacuuming and doing the laundry.  If you have read my blog at all you probably know that actually folding the laundry is not my strong point.  Oh sure, it eventually gets folded, but this is actually a process that involves me laying on said pile, daydreaming and eventually having kids run through any progress.  Somehow,  in the midst of all this, you must find time to shave, lest your husband think he has resorted to nesting with a porcupine.  I resort to dry shaving....sure, it burns for about a day and a half and you might get a couple of nicks but it will suffice....oh well ....I'm beginning to think the true meaning of  Spring cleaning is for people like me that don't actually finish winter cleaning 'til Spring......

HEY YOU! Yes you....and all your marvelous flaws......

  Flaws?!  What flaws?....No, not you.... that person in your living room or in the office space next to you.  We make an exhausting attempt to live up to external expectations.  Since we were children, we've heard, "just be yourself"...."be ourselves?  but what if thats not good enough?"   All day the merry go round of thoughts whiz past our brains.....( was I good enough today? nice enough today? loving enough today? did I volunteer enough this month?, because you know so and so over there volunteers all the time and they are super excited!   Ugggh....the list goes on and on.   The truth of the matter is that you will NEVER be good enough, nice enough or volunteer enough.  If you're a stay at home parent you will feel guilty over the house thats never clean enough or if you must work you will suffer guilt if you want to be home..  Its a catch 22...the classic damned if you do, damned if you don't.  Let's just stop the craziness for a moment....take a breath chill out a little.  I remember hearing a line in a movie once that I don't think I'll ever forget..." In this life you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody except yourself".  Powerful words....Freeing words.......Can we let go of the image, that cannot be lived up to?   Can you be okay with yourself  if you arent perfect today?  You have great value..you are what someone needs today...just the way you are....marveously flawed.....

Loyalty That Could Not Be Bought..(subtitle)...The Bird That Could Take Me Or Leave Me

  Let me introduce you to "Birdman".   One would think that a name of such caliber should invoke thoughts of superheros or at the very least a half man half bird you find in a mythology book.  Not so much,  this name belongs to our beloved Cockatoo.  He was obtained in a rescue of sorts 19 yrs. ago.  The previous owner said,   " $50 for the cage and the bird and he's yours."  What was the deal?  Why so cheap you wonder?  The deal was,  he was a notorious, nervous feather picker, not very attractive by pet store standards.  We shoved the large cage and nervous bird into our tiny Toyota, off we went on the hour trip home.  We were looking forward to having this great pet,  we could train him...this was gonna be supercool.   Reality sets in.....we lived on the second floor of our apartment building and upon entering  the front door on the main floor, we heard loud amazonian like screeching.   We raced up the stairs in a panic to attempt to quiet the beast.  oh my gosh, what was up with this bird?!  Upon further research, we discovered that in the wild, they all let out primal screeches at dinnertime.......silly me, of course....what was I thinking?   Oh yes...and usually in captivity they like to bond with one person.   You would think it would be me right?  After all,  I'm home with him, I feed him and once in awhile I'll even give him a toy or even some newspaper to shred all over the floor.  Not a chance,  it's Big Daddy he loves.  I mean, I don't really blame him, I love Big Daddy myself.  There have been times when this lovely animal has even taken a lunge at me or the kids will yell,  "ma! look out!" as he descends on high to peck at my head. Did I mention we keep his door off so he can come in and out of his cage at will?  All the snuggling and lovey bird noises are saved for his true love, Big Daddy.  I get attitude or just plain tolerance.  Anyway, he remains...our longest lasting pet and faithful friend to the man he loves.  He never did quit picking his feathers, oh well,  I guess what they say is right, beauty is in the eye of the beholder ( just be careful not to get your eye pecked out!) ok...that last part was added...I think you get the picture.

Sunnin', Swingin' and Dog Poop Flingin'.....

    With "Real Feel" temperatures rising, my little one has been after me for days to put out the kiddie pool.  By nature, I tend to procrastinate, doesn't the old saying go " Why put off today what you can do tomorrow?"........Ok, I know its the other way around,  but sometimes I wish it was worded that way.  Big daddy in his usual wonderful way drags out the old blow up pool and finds a piece that will fit the blower machine and gets to work.  Sweat beads down his forehead in the hot garage as he takes care of this inflatable.  Ok, hard part finished.......not so fast, this thing still has to be scrubbed out and dragged out to the back yard.  At 7 a.m. one of the first things I'm greeted with is "I want my pool , is it filled?"   I set a time of 9 a.m. to do the dirty work.  I drag the plastic beast to the back of the house and figure out that doggie clean up needs to happen so we don't have kids mushing down "surprises" in between their toes.  I get to work...now, if you remember back to my winter dog clean up story, there was some poo flinging toward the garden in a heavy wind.   Thankfully, no wind this time, just searing heat.  Let the flinging begin!  I was grateful that the burning sun had hardened these dog pies, making the clean up a bit easier.  As in the winter, I look back at the house to see children in the window smiling at their tankini clad mother throwing doo doo.  I'm convinced this should really be an Olympic sport.  I'm finished, onto scrubbing the pool, that wasn't so bad,  out the kids went with the immediate question being, "when's it gonna warm up?"....well happy to report the kids enjoyed the frigid temperature without too much complaining.  A good time was had by all until........a giggly 4 yr. old  informs all in earshot that she has just peed in the pool.....(sigh)... the pool seems to empty very quickly when someone yells that.  There's always tomorrow.....

Even Heros Have the Right to Bleed.....

  I woke up sometime during the early morning hours weeping.  I was having a dream where my dearly departed father made 2 cameo appearances.  I lost my dad just over 5 years ago now and although the "strike" to my heart has lost most of its strength, there are moments out of nowhere that bring it back.  The thing that I enjoyed most about my dad was his sense of  "ease",  his ability to not take life so seriously.  He was funny,  sort of a silly guy.  When I was young, I saw him as all powerful, almost a superhero.  He was just barely 18 years old when I was born.  He was a father when he was a very young man, but as a man he didn't abandon his child.  Even superheros have their weakness,  and as "spectators", sometimes we view our superheros weakness in an unkind light.  We wonder why they didn't "measure up" or "come through".  As parents I believe most of us have only the best in mind for our children. We hope that they will be happy, well rounded if you will.  We hope that they will overlook our inadequacies to see the greatness.  I have come to that place in my heart when I think of my dad.   His love, his sense of humor and his easy going nature will live on.....I have grown up to see "the greatness"........

Motherhood of the Traveling Laundry Pile

  I have a love/hate relationship with my laundry.  Well, for one thing, I like to wear clean clothes,  we all do, right?  Seriously, a person can only Febreez a dirty shirt so many times, true?  I don't really do that, I actually do not like spraying freshener on dirty stuff, kinda gross to me, although I would never poo-poo any ones parade.  Onto why I hate my laundry...I absolutely cannot stand to fold the clothes.  I admire people that say, well, I just fold it as it comes out of the dryer, this way its fresh and its done.  Unfortunately, this is not actually how I roll.  My routine goes a little something like this,  washing the clothes is a smooth operation, drying, "easy peasy".....folding....hmmm...here's where things get a little "iffy".    By "iffy" I mean, "if" I'm not busy, then I will fold.  My laundry pile is currently about 3 loads high....now I procrastinate.  I fold a few things then walk away, then someone usually runs through my pile, so then I'm back at 1st base.  Yesterday, I folded some things, then just laid on top of the pile and daydreamed a bit.  Eventually everything actually does get folded and no one is wrinkled.  Starting to wonder if I should delegate it to the kids, I mean at least the towels and  undies would be folded... hmmm....the ponderings of  a daydreaming mama  :)