All Things Potty

     There is a straw that will break the camels back.  That proverbial straw in my case is the public toilet.  I never thought public restrooms would become such an important part of my life.  It seems I barely gave them a second thought until about my 7th month of pregnancy.  This, I think, may be actually my third post about restrooms, I suppose I might be obsessed.  Maybe, obsessed is too strong of a word....I'll leave that up to you.

     Lets go back to the beginning.  When I was huge with baby,  I became very aware of where the closest toilet was in all of my surroundings.  I could tell you without a doubt in which store you may find cleanliness and comfort.  My favorites were the ones where the walls in each stall reached to the ceiling like an impenetrable fortress. One where there was mood lighting and catchy music in which to sing along on a whim.  Later, my next favorites where the ones with the little sinks and changing tables in the big stalls.  I could drive my giant stroller into the spacious room of refuge and take care of my wailing, poopy baby in peace.

     Enough of the "nice" bathrooms, as they were far and few between.  One of my most fond memories was having to nurse my then infant daughter on the floor of the Kmart as she wailed and I clumsily tried to balance her on my knee as I leaned on the toilet, only to then resort to sitting on the floor as far away from the commode as possible.  It wasn't like now where you could pretty much whip out your "unmentionable" in public to feed your baby while people try not to stare.   I'll  never forget the store associate at my nearest department store telling me "You cant do that in here" as I tried to take care of my new son in their cafe.  I did report her but it didn't alter the world or anything.  Flash forward, potty training.  There's nothing quite like your toddler touching the toilet seat then grabbing at your face as you try to help them with their clothes, especially in the summer.

     Potty training is now behind us as we now have 3 graduated conductors of the potty train.  Now, the biggest challenge is the strong, exhortation to put paper on the seats, because they're full of germs and PLEASE, PLEASE  for the love of all that is holy...don't forget to wash your hands !!   You know the paper toilet protector is pretty much worthless in my opinion since it takes about 2 minutes to actually situate them on the seat.   Then, people like to "hover" .....well, great!  "hover" till your hearts content, but can you at least wipe up your sprinkles?!   Oh no.....by all means...make sure you leave them there so I can plop my giant heiny on them....TMI ?  yeah, probably....but wouldn't the world be a nicer place if everyone just sat their caboose down on the seat?.....well, maybe not....   I could go on forever...about the 1 ply toilet paper, the nasty wet sinks.....I will spare you......til next time ;)

    

    

Now, where was I ?

 Wow, I cant even believe I haven't written anything in over a year.  I'm not a person that is given to speechlessness, so I must catch up.  Holy cow, what has happened in the last year?  My mustache is getting thicker and  my feet are getting bigger.  There's only a few more shoes sizes left, I hope this stops soon.  I guess I can keep plucking my mustache, what a price to pay for a smooth lip.

  In the last year, we have gained 2 hamsters, 1 bunny and are still loving our nearly 13 yr. old lab.  As much as he needs, he still warms my heart and brings me back to a place in my mind when we were both a little younger and our joints moved a little freer.  We said goodbye to our dear friend, Birdman after having him in our family for over 19 years. He was our feisty Moluccan Cockatoo with beautiful head feathers and a feather picked body.  He was our bargain pet, due to his nervous nature. Where most cockatoos can be sold for lots of money, ours, including his cage was only $50.  He loved big daddy more than anyone else and was the most loving and calm when around the man he loved.  (sounds like a serious love story, doesnt it?)

 The kids are getting huge and keep me on the edge of my seat on any given day.  We are still homeschooling, 5 yrs. in the making.  Being with the kids is not always Little House on the Prairie, as a matter of fact somedays its more like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.  But, its pretty cool when I can get through math without tears....(talking about myself here).   Big Daddy......what can I say?......I love this guy with my entire being (yeah, I know....who likes love stories on public posts) I guess if I had a way to describe us...I would maybe say George Burns and Gracie Allen ( thats an overexaggeration, but, we do like to have fun).  We met at 17 and are sharing 40 something this year. 

  I never did get my basement organized...but it is always in the back of my mind, at least I havent lost complete sight of my goal....maybe when the kids are a little older I'll realize my lofty dream :)  

 

I Almost Forgot There Were Horses

When we first embarked on our country adventure, our spot was just a corn field.   The country offered so much promise.  The house slowly went up brick by brick, window by window.  My husband impressed me with his skill and craftsmanship.  Our neighbors down the way have horses and I noticed at 4: 30 every afternoon they would run, from one end of the fence down to the other.  I couldn't help but think of how fortunate I was.  Time went on and there was work to be done.  The babies came and the draw on my attention was never ending.  Little by little I took less notice of the horses that once caused me to marvel.  Oh sure, I knew they were there, but I was too busy to really remember.  Why did I forget?  After all...wasn't it my responsibility to fix the world?  To send out ultra responsible, productive children into society?  No, not really.  I mean ..yeah, we all need to raise our children to the best of our know how,  but I'm pretty sure there must be some kind of delicate balance.  Lately, I'm becoming slightly more aware of my fleeting youth, it bugs me a little.  At the same time, I feel like a part of my mind is opening to remind me of whats really important.  It's not the immaculate house or the perfect kids or even the perfect marriage.  It's learning to love those that are placed in your life and to embrace the beauty of the journey.  It's looking past yourself and the imperfections of those around you.  Its remembering the horses when you have kids arguing in the background and there's clutter at your feet.  I sat there today and watched those horses being carefree this morning and it just reminded me, that there is greatness, when you choose to find it.

wanna be happy?...lower your standards!

STANDARDS...such a lofty word..presses us onto greatness.  Raise the bar on excellence, set your standards high!  High enough so that you're a miserable mess trying to attain excellence.....hmmm...  How many of us live at that place in life?  Oh my gosh,   house cant ever be a mess,  kids gotta be primped and preened,  meals hafta be perfect, mans gotta be freshly loved( wink, wink).  Good Lord, can we give ourselves a break already?!  What kinda fairy tale existence is the above described scenario?  Is there anyone who can do it all and not need a Tylenol drip at the end of the day?  Not only are we hard on ourselves, we are hard on each other.  Snarky comments made behind the backs of people,  about their homes, their kids, their whatevers....My thought?  Lets lower the bar, lets let go of the vanity, lets have love and support for our fellow girl  and lets love ourselves a little more.  You cant fold clothes today? Who cares?  You cant clear up the counter today? so what?  you wanna dance to the beat farmers with your kid instead of wash the dishes? do it!  you wanna lay on the floor and pet your 11.5 year old dog? do it! cuz you're not gonna be able to when he's gone.  What?  afternoon delight  with messy hair and bad breath?  go for it! That man ain't looking for a playboy model, he wants you!!  Not one single person has it together, but if we can just get real with each other and ourselves, I believe that would be a great place to start!

Of Dry Shaves and Traveling Laundry Piles...

I love Christmas.  What's not to love?  The twinkling lights, the holiday movies (over and over and over again) etc.  Everything is spectacular and pretty.  I liken Christmas to a great meal.  Preparation leading up to a fabulous meal is time consuming yet exciting.  Finally, we serve up this feast or in this case Christmas joy.  We wait for that look...the twinkle in the eye.  You know somehow by that look, you have raised the bar on Christmas (or on meal prep) once again.  Okay...that is all an exaggeration, but I think you get my point.  Here's my issue with Christmas...December 26.  "But that's the day after Christmas..."you say.  Exactly right!  What does this all have to do with dry shaves and laundry piles you ask?   I'm getting to that.  Just like a great meal ends, so does a great event. What you are left with is mess....you know what I'm talking about...dirty plates, pine needles, wrapping paper and the like.  Little pieces that kids leave on the floor inviting you to step on in an oblivious stupor.  This scenario tends to zap my mental motivation, somehow in the recesses of my mind, a sign flashes....you will never get this cleaned up, the counters are filled with hardening Christmas cookies and questionable pies.  I switch gears and get into survival mode...I lower my standards and shoot for keeping the dishes clean, vacuuming and doing the laundry.  If you have read my blog at all you probably know that actually folding the laundry is not my strong point.  Oh sure, it eventually gets folded, but this is actually a process that involves me laying on said pile, daydreaming and eventually having kids run through any progress.  Somehow,  in the midst of all this, you must find time to shave, lest your husband think he has resorted to nesting with a porcupine.  I resort to dry shaving....sure, it burns for about a day and a half and you might get a couple of nicks but it will suffice....oh well ....I'm beginning to think the true meaning of  Spring cleaning is for people like me that don't actually finish winter cleaning 'til Spring......

HEY YOU! Yes you....and all your marvelous flaws......

  Flaws?!  What flaws?....No, not you.... that person in your living room or in the office space next to you.  We make an exhausting attempt to live up to external expectations.  Since we were children, we've heard, "just be yourself"...."be ourselves?  but what if thats not good enough?"   All day the merry go round of thoughts whiz past our brains.....( was I good enough today? nice enough today? loving enough today? did I volunteer enough this month?, because you know so and so over there volunteers all the time and they are super excited!   Ugggh....the list goes on and on.   The truth of the matter is that you will NEVER be good enough, nice enough or volunteer enough.  If you're a stay at home parent you will feel guilty over the house thats never clean enough or if you must work you will suffer guilt if you want to be home..  Its a catch 22...the classic damned if you do, damned if you don't.  Let's just stop the craziness for a moment....take a breath chill out a little.  I remember hearing a line in a movie once that I don't think I'll ever forget..." In this life you don't have to prove nothin' to nobody except yourself".  Powerful words....Freeing words.......Can we let go of the image, that cannot be lived up to?   Can you be okay with yourself  if you arent perfect today?  You have great value..you are what someone needs today...just the way you are....marveously flawed.....

Loyalty That Could Not Be Bought..(subtitle)...The Bird That Could Take Me Or Leave Me

  Let me introduce you to "Birdman".   One would think that a name of such caliber should invoke thoughts of superheros or at the very least a half man half bird you find in a mythology book.  Not so much,  this name belongs to our beloved Cockatoo.  He was obtained in a rescue of sorts 19 yrs. ago.  The previous owner said,   " $50 for the cage and the bird and he's yours."  What was the deal?  Why so cheap you wonder?  The deal was,  he was a notorious, nervous feather picker, not very attractive by pet store standards.  We shoved the large cage and nervous bird into our tiny Toyota, off we went on the hour trip home.  We were looking forward to having this great pet,  we could train him...this was gonna be supercool.   Reality sets in.....we lived on the second floor of our apartment building and upon entering  the front door on the main floor, we heard loud amazonian like screeching.   We raced up the stairs in a panic to attempt to quiet the beast.  oh my gosh, what was up with this bird?!  Upon further research, we discovered that in the wild, they all let out primal screeches at dinnertime.......silly me, of course....what was I thinking?   Oh yes...and usually in captivity they like to bond with one person.   You would think it would be me right?  After all,  I'm home with him, I feed him and once in awhile I'll even give him a toy or even some newspaper to shred all over the floor.  Not a chance,  it's Big Daddy he loves.  I mean, I don't really blame him, I love Big Daddy myself.  There have been times when this lovely animal has even taken a lunge at me or the kids will yell,  "ma! look out!" as he descends on high to peck at my head. Did I mention we keep his door off so he can come in and out of his cage at will?  All the snuggling and lovey bird noises are saved for his true love, Big Daddy.  I get attitude or just plain tolerance.  Anyway, he remains...our longest lasting pet and faithful friend to the man he loves.  He never did quit picking his feathers, oh well,  I guess what they say is right, beauty is in the eye of the beholder ( just be careful not to get your eye pecked out!) ok...that last part was added...I think you get the picture.